Ever been with someone who complains almost all the time about something? It’s tiring right? Yes, constant whining about a condition hardly ever makes it better.  Instead it drains life out of what is left, so stop the nag. Some of us are culprits here sometimes, even me. Life often deals us what we want as well as what we do not. However, the best way to handle the unwanted is not by murmuring.

There are things you have control over and there are things you do not. Understand the difference between them.

What you do not have Control over

• You do not have control over other people
• You do not have control over the past; and
• You do not have control over life’s situations like death; God has that.

Nagging or murmuring over any of these three things all the days of your life will never make them change to suit you or your desires. The best way to live is to live in acceptance of this truth; that you will never change them by nagging. Can you change them at all? No.

Of these three, only other people can be influenced by you. INFLUENCED, not changed. Take note of that. Only God has the prerogative to change anyone.

Proverbs 21:1

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.

Your best shot is to try to influence them by your actions not your nags. This brings us to the second part of control. Do you have control over anything in life?

What you have Control over

Yes, there is in fact one thing you have control over – Yourself. When you work on yourself, it makes you at peace with those things beyond your control and in the long run it is as though you have everything under control. Develop a positive outlook on life.

How to develop a positive outlook on other People

1. Stop finding fault. The more you focus on their shortcomings, the more displeased you are and the more likely you find yourself nagging about it.
2. Instead of grumbling, have a sensible conversation with them about their conduct. Don’t just whine, suggest a better attitude.
3. If confronting them is a bad idea, then keep quiet and use your good behavior to demonstrate a better lifestyle to them.

How to develop a positive outlook on your past

1. First acknowledge that it is called ‘past’ because you ought to have passed it; it should be behind you, not in front.
2. Make the best of your past by using it as a foundation for a future that outshines it. Joyce Meyer and Oprah Winfrey are examples of women who have turned out great despite what you might call their horrible pasts. If you cannot do anything to change the past, then why keep complaining about it? And if you can do something about it, why complain?
3. Forgive (even yourself) if you have to, then move on. We all make mistakes; costly ones sometimes. We should learn from them and move on.

How to develop a positive outlook on life’s situations

Ibidunni Ighodalo is one woman who has been an inspiration to me in the past week. I never met or heard of her in her lifetime but the testimonies about her on the media after her demise were so remarkable. The famous Miss Lux of 1999 was a top notch event planner and was married to Pastor Ituah Ighodalo. She struggled with infertility for eleven years and instead of despair and depression, she chose to help other families facing similar challenge like hers. Having gone through failed IVFs herself severally, she established a foundation called Ibidun Ighodalo Foundation where she supported families who could not afford the cost of an IVF.

As earlier stated, life would not always hand you a fair deal. What matters is how you handle it.

1. If the job doesn’t make you happy, find another. (But don’t expect paradise in the next job either) 
2. While you are waiting, stop criticizing and blaming others for your predicaments. Just do your best for a better result and focus on the bright side.

According to Hellen Keller, “when you turn toward the sunshine, the shadows fall behind you.” Stop the nag, put an end to self-pity and make the best out of every situation. Remember, God hates murmuring (1 Corinthians 10:10, Philippians 2:14). Marinate on this until next time.

If you like this post, please share. You can follow the Priceless Journal on facebook and twitter. You may also like my post on Secrets of Effective Communication.

Would you like to meet me? You can click here. I love feedback, you can drop your comments in the comment section below. 

You can send prayer requests or request for counselling via email here.

“Lord, give us the courage to change the things that can be changed, the serenity to accept the things that cannot be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.”